this is what real rambling is....my blog deserves it's name.

she paced about restlessly in her room.the room was utilitarian. white tiled and bare walled.it gave her a feeling of being trapped in some obscure moment in time which had no emotions or shades to it.it was not dark and foreboding nor was it happy and light.
yes,a time bubble trapped in definite co ordinates of a Cartesian quadrant system,she thought.
damn it,even her thoughts were nowadays in terminology which she was trying to run away from.

she had come running away from the fast pace of her city life,to get some peace of mind,here,in the countryside.but,it seemed,even that was not working.
sighing,she lay down on the single bed looking at the whitewashed ceiling.

what else was expected of her,she did not know,at 23,she did not know why it was so hard to decide something like what she wanted to pursue in her life.she had come through the usual doldrums of academics,excelled in them.but now she knew that she had done them because she was one of those so called lucky ones born with that trait.the trait which made studies easy to come by.but she knew,people never believed her.they thought she was just being modest.but she knew better.she knew that somewhere in her basic character,when the bricks of her character had been laid,its foundation had been made of the cement of responsibility. she took whatever was thrown her way in life as her responsibility.whether she enjoyed the work or not was never a priority to her.if the work appealed,it was an added bonus.
if a job was given,and if she accepted it ,she would see it through to the end.
she believed that,this was how it should be,just and fair.
so,she always made her decisions in life,thinking them through.if she couldn't do a thing wholeheartedly,she never took it.

a humming of a bird got her attention.she looked at the window.she could not recognise the bird.
it flew away into the bright skies.
looking out at the beautiful countryside outside her window,she felt that she was a fool to sit couped in her room,chewing over a problem when the world of birds and trees beckoned her to join them

she pulled on a coat and ran outside.

this was her grandfather's ancestral home.geographically this small hamlet was placed in the centre of a ring made by mighty mountains.this mountainous terrain was covered by tropical rain forest.human civilization was a rarity here.this village of 50 odd people had a rough,stony country road which after a few miles joined the nearest big city.the country road was the centre of human activity.

the sighting of an odd woodcutter or a cowherd taking their daily routes to the mountaintops was the definition of human activity.the remaining populace's livelihood was farming which was carried out in the fields behind their homes.

she made her way through small pathways cutting across green fields,a small stream and reached the Temple pond.this Temple of Lord Krishna was one of her favourite spots.she had to walk across a tricky hedge circling the perimeter of the green pond to reach the Temple.

she did not consider herself overly religious but she was spiritual.and the Temple's Deity was the incarnation of her favourite God.

after praying,she made her way to the spreading Peepal tree(Ficus religiosa) on one side of the Temple.and sat on the ledge underneath it.

all around her,she saw nature in its full glory,the sweeping fields,sparkling like deep emeralds swayed with the gentle breeze on one side,the green pond below,the mountains,the coconut trees,the country road winding away to unknown distances.

the leaves of the Peepal were dancing and singing with the gentle breeze.she could here a cow mooing from some distance.

this was her favourite place in the whole wide world,she decided.her Grand Da's place had always been one of her most loved places,her memories of this place always induced her with peace.especially,this place under the tree.

she was born with a ceaseless mind,a mind which never stopped thinking.she never had a problem with it until when she was completely exhausted and wanted her mind to stop.but she had no control over it.

this was one of those very few places in her world,where she did not have to try to bring her mind to equilibrium.the surroundings induced it for her.

she looked at the sky,through the leaves of the tree and sighed contently.a path from behind the Temple lead to the initial slopes of the mountain.the path was through the darker green of foliage of creepers and huge trees.she thought of the countless number of times she had conquered the mountain tops through those paths in her childhood.her overactive imagination always felt that the jungle was enchanted and wood spirits and elves lived in its dense greenery. a magic world operating away from this human world.

she let her mind wander to memories of drinking coconut water on the high rock on the mountaintop,looking at the world far below.looking at it from so far above always made her feel,that after all what are we in the whole wide universe?just a piece which fitted somewhere in some invisible cosmic cycle.

she smiled as she recalled that during the night,lullabies around here were sung by wolves howling away in the mountaintops.she had slept to so many of such lullabies.under the night sky,with the moonlight and the moonpeople songs-the wolfsong.

her musings were halted as she spied a pigeon trying to push her babies out of the nest to teach them to fly.the babies were trying their best to resist their lessons.but eventually the mother won and the babies first flopped down a few branches,but eventually let the course of nature take its route.they flew a small distance and came back home.

she sat up as a thought struck her.she felt like the pigeon babies herself,scared to take the first step because she was scared to fall flat on her face.but like them,if she never took the first step how was she ever going to learn,ever going to know or ever going to grow.

in the hustle and bustle of achieving whatever she wanted out of her life,she realised it was stupid to be scared to tread unknown grounds.until she did that she would never know what lay ahead.doing her work wholeheartedly was her karma,the outcome should not bother her much. nature would take its course.

she looked towards the Temple entrance.she smiled as she thought,wasn't that what her favourite Lord preached in the Bhagwad Geetha.

thank you,she whispered into the skies and the breeze.

(author's note: this was real rambling,i agree.but i just had to get something out of my system.

as for not exactly mentioning the problem,i wanted it to be a neutral article so that people who read it can relate to it.am sure we are faced with so many problems in the course of leading our lives,small and big,that at times we just want to hide our faces and wish the problem away.

in the rat race of achieving some so called definition of "perfect life" we are all so scared to take chances,lest we fall and make a fool of ourselves.but,taking chances,doing our best and then letting nature take its course,is the way things work,knowingly or unknowingly.

for me nature plays the dual roles of being an antidote to a fast paced life and a teacher if i look at things carefully.am sure everyone has their own way to relax and contemplate.

hope you had the patience to reach here.

:)

)