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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

running to stand still.

there is something heartbreaking about lost love,especially when the day dies and night sets in....
especially when the wind weeps and the trees try to comfort them...

there is something heartbreaking about twilight and skies painted with the hues of heavy pink and with light filtering through them...makes you think of home and where your heart is.

there is something heartbreaking about watching romantic movies and crying not because the hero and heroine live happily ever after..but because your heart has become so cynical that it does not believe in happy endings any more......

there is something heartbreaking about friends going their separate ways..because howmuchever you promise yourself and each other to keep in never happens...daily life snatches away all your time..and eventually only timeless memories about past days remain..which generally induce a peaceful nostalgia..but at times leave a deep etching pain...once in a blue moon....

there is something heartbreaking about the death of a loved one..because even when we cry for what is lost..somewhere in the back of our mind and in our hearts we know..we will and we have to move on..that is how life is..and there will be day when we get up one morning to realise that you cannot remember their face anymore..what remains are vague features and again memories of what was once a life........

there is something heartbreaking about certain singers voices ..which call to your soul and bring out all those stacked pain accumulated over the years....and tried level best to ignore...all you can do is submit to them.....

there is something heartbreaking about unrewarded hard work.......which at times makes you want to give up on believing in basic principles on which the wheels of life run...

there is something heartbreaking about losing faith.....and then being miserable thereafter...and forever searching something which will prove you wrong and redeem your faith.....

there is and always will be something heartbreaking about the matters of the heart and soul....

well,as for the name of the article it is one of my favourite U2 songs...listening to which is one of the principle reasons i am writing such sad stuff.....

i want to share the following lines with you is not something i have written..but something i read in a friend's blog..where she had mentioned it to be a message..i have no idea who the author is..
but these lines do touch a chord..especially at those points in life..when you stand at crossroads..and cant help but wonder..."when did it all become so complicated?"

"i want to go back to the time when getting high meant on a swing..when drinking meant apple juice.. when dad was the only hero..when love was mom's hug..when dad's shoulder was the highest place on earth, when your worst enemies were your siblings..when the only thing that could hurt were skinned knees..when the only things broken were your own toys...and when goodbyes meant only till tomorrow........."

signing out in a somber mood...

Sunday, April 26, 2009


continuing with the "N" series....

this is about the most horrible day in the history of my study leave.....
damn,miserable it was......

i had this one week gap before my next,i was relaxed,lazy,happy and leading a non studious spite of the fact that i had not touched a single chapter for the coming paper....
well,as usual,2 days before the exams,i decided to try and be serious about studies....and at least get a few chapters done..

now,this was a Thursday....i generally "fast"on Thursdays....all i will say is..i just want to check my determination to keep away from food.....and let me tell you,it kills me..sigh,sob,boo hoo....

the miserable day started with me dragging myself out of the bed at 6 in the morning..but as luck would have it..the early morning tea time(yeahh..tea is is water and watermelon) conversation with my mom developed into a full fledged talk which continued way past 8..with both mom and me jumping up to race to our respective and study table...

after swallowing the initial feeling of guilt..for messing up morning study time..i sat down to study some stuff...

now,i cannot decide whether it was some weird play of fate,an alignment of my stars..or just plain stupid me making a wrong choice...that i ended up choosing something called "exfoliative cytology"...don't let the fancy name fool is basically disease diagnosis using urine,faeces and sputum.....

in layman's terms...lets is all about pee,shit and spit....

honestly,these "usually"gross things don't matter much to me...
as in i enjoy reading "clinical "language...
for something as simple as,......"stinking shit"..they will write..."stools with foul smell".
now.i haven't,heard of fragrant shit till date...
nor,does the fact,that the subject includes different texture,smell,colour and appearance of faeces and urine spoil my appetite....

but,i guess,i was miserable that day...

all this garbage made me more miserable...and made me realise that it doesn't matter that these things don't spoil my appetite..there was no need for appetite today!
feeling utterly dejected....i went and ate my mother's brain about how i could not study and was feeling guilty and blah blah...
when mom threw me out i irritated my brother...who also did not give me two pence worth of attention.....
feeling like a lowlife..who couldn't warrant even as much attention as the shit and pee i was studying about.....i sat down again for studying....
this time,i did manage to finish the chapter..but that had some weird consequence....
i was walking around the house like a zombie....

sick of studies..i watched television....well,i ended up watching "resident evil" for the umpteenth time. more zombies and the blood and gore in the movie...made me feel i was damn sure..i was ready for some cannibalistic activity....

teatime beckoned again,i thought about enjoying my spending some time observing nature and induce some peace in myself .....a fat lot i got from that...i ended up observing a mean cat from my building eating up an unsuspecting pigeon..

i guess,i had had it ..blood,gore,innards....for one day....
in despair and unable to run from my depression....i decided to call it a day.......
keeping my study materials aside,i had a quick bath....cribbed about it all on the phone with my friend...and by 9..i was ready to hit the bed.....

but..there is something about misery which never leaves your back..the hounds of hell,once behind you..are...hard to dislodge...sleep was alluding favourite one ..of the sleep Gods!!
i decided to play music to soothe my "garbagedumped"soul.......
now,i am a Metal freak..and i dig U2...
i slowly started relaxing to Bono's voice......
but..even my favourite songs seemed to have hidden meaning on that fateful day....
when Bono sang.....

"baby baby baby.....light my way.......ultraviolet....ULTRAVIOLET"...

all i could think was that we could use UV rays for sterilization......
when he sang....

"i cant live.....with or without you" mind corrupted my favourite song in the whole wide world by thinking about "shit"and how you cant live "with" or "without" it......

i felt nauseated!
and the last thing i remember before blessed sleep overcame me...was Bono crooning..

"I'll go crazy,if i don't go crazy tonight"

well,two days later and after writing that paper..i can say..i am almost as sane as i can be....
and am back to listening to U2 without hidden meanings....
the only weird after effect was,in between the paper,i wanted to throw my answer sheets to the wind and had a great urge to start singing and bawling in the exam hall...

i did think about putting up pictures for this article..but i don't think people who survived this post would want to see pictures of human waste..and for those who did not survive..
rest in peace.

end of rambling.......

(related links: )_

Saturday, April 25, 2009


it was the second day of our three day practical examination.
the first day went in a whirlwind of activities which included hurried completion of experiments which left us harried,the teachers screaming at us,eyes popping out due to our attempts to isolate cells underneath microscopes,writing all that we had stuffed into our brains regarding the experiment,praying to all possible Gods to make our organism grow on the media we had selected,the five minute lunch break in which all i remember is sitting cross legged in front of the lab and stuffing things into my mouth and trying to keep my "oh so white"lab coat out of the way...

back to the second day......the day went well.

to start with all our organisms grew,thank God for micro mercies.... :P pun intended

a hilarious identification session followed with people crashing their brains out wondering what that minuscule thing in the eppendorf was.....

(well,for non bio people,this session is where stuff is kept out for us to recognise and write about..this particular specimen i am talking about was kept in a small plastic tube with a cap which is called eppendorf tube..generally used when micro scale stuff is used)

well,people who could see it ,thought they would write about filters....
people who couldnot see it wrote about eppendorf tube.. :P
people who had lost it wrote about miniature gold coins from a pirate's treasure which had found its way to our laboratory.....

eventually ,it was some disc used in electron microscopy....sheesh..whatever...

(the photo is of the"gold coins"aka "electron microscope grids" kept in the tube..they are very very very tiny....)

the day passed pleasantly with the 9 of us winding our main experiments ....though we had a three days work pace of "the fast and the furious" from 9 in the morning to 6 in the evening..we were all pretty relaxed...the general consensus was "practicals" achcha gaya....

the teachers were pretty happy with us for all of us had managed to find the causative organism for our respective left us to wind up our work.

now,a few lines about the layout of my lab...
my lab..or the masters lab is one spacious,airy and bright lab,with huge windows opening into bright skies and CST's skyline...our examination was conducted in the undergrad lab,as we had medical micro experiments and sterile conditions are a must..for these experiments..
.the undergrad lab and post grad labs are connected..the post grad lab is like the balcony of the undergrad lab...and huge glass windows and doors connect both the labs...

now,back to winding up our work,we were performing certain tests which did not need much hard work except a tightly closed mouth,sterile conditions and a thin wire with which we pick some organisms in liquid media and jab them into other liquids and solids....
due to the nature of the work,there was silence in the lab..
twilight had fallen..the time of the day for memories and was windy outside..our lab doors were closed,but we could see through to the masters lab and make out it was breezy....
all of us were working seriously but the mood was relaxed...

i don't know what overcame me..but i guess,the wind,the time of the day,the mood,the work..made me realise that, that was the last time i would perform any experiment in the lab as a student....
a rush of memories overcame i looked out to our lab....where the wind was playing havoc with everything movable...
i looked at all my friends working quietly at their tables...a bittersweet pleasure trickled down my heart as i took in all the sights..that had become dear to me...that would now become memories that would take a timeless quality.....

i looked across my table at Sam.....i could see her staring at something in our masters lab...
i turned to see what was holding her attention..
it was the piece of paper we used to write our weekly schedules on..scrawled,scribbled,doodled on it were schedules for autoclaving,electrophoresis,lectures.....the paper was dancing in the wind.....

i turned towards her..she was looking at her eyes i could see the reflection of my thoughts..and in that reflection i could hear her thoughts.......
both of us smiled at each other and continued with our experiment...........

(related link: )

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


"The humpback whale which is Megaptera novaeangliae is a Baleen found in all the major oceans, in a wide band running from the Antarctic ice edge to 65° N latitude..................... There are at least 80,000 humpback whales worldwide,............................" the zoology professor droned on.

Sasha fought the wave of drowsiness overwhelming her and tried to listen to the professor's monologue on humpbacks.

"Both male and female humpback whales can produce sounds, however only the males produce the long, loud, complex "songs" for which the species is famous. Each song consists of several sounds in a low register that vary in amplitude and frequency, and typically lasts from 10 to 20 minutes.
Songs may be repeated continuously for several hours; humpback whales have been observed to sing continuously for more than 24 hours at a time.
As cetaceans have no vocal cords, whales generate their song by forcing air through their massive nasal cavities........
Whales within an area sing the same song, for example all of the humpback whales of the North Atlantic sing the same song, and those of the North Pacific sing a different song. Each population's song changes slowly over a period of years —never returning to the same sequence of notes.........
male humpback whales have been described as, "inveterate composers," of songs, "'strikingly similar' to human musical traditions"
the last lines caught her attention,
wow,she thought,maybe they even have "rock bands".
the lecture ended,and the students started making way out of the classroom. since it was the last lecture of the day,everyone were keen to get out of the class.

Sasha packed her belongings,said her goodbyes and left the room.
as she made her way home,she thought of the humpbacks and their "songs". in the small coastal town where she lived with her family,humpback sightings were normal. she knew of a spot in the high rocks which randomly seeded the coastline,from where you could see miles out into the sea.
humpback sightings were common from there.
she decided to go there after completing her work for the day.maybe she could meet a few humpbacks and tell them that she had a lecture on them in class that day,she thought as she raced the steps to her front door.

it was evening by the time Sasha made her way up the precarious volcanic rocks leading to the spot.she reached it and made herself comfortable for the watch.she had brought along a thermos of coffee and few chocolate bars for company.she had told her mother about her intention to stay for a couple of hours on watch.she needed the break too,after hours of collegework and homework and paper presentations and exam as an undergrad student was difficult,she thought.

a few stars were visible in the horizon. in the distance,she could see random twinkling of ship lights.farther out still,she could discern a subtle change in the colour of the was in these mysterious depths that the humpbacks travelled,singing their "whale songs."

as she thought of them,they gave her their sighting.a few of them were making their way across the waters.their stocky bodies and humps were vaguely visible in the dark,but what was very obviously discernible was their singing.

Sasha could hear repetitive,low tones,but somehow she felt that they sounded sad and melancholy.
she sat down on the rock overlooking the sea.the whales disappeared and so did their songs,into the hidden,ocean depths.

why are you so sad,she asked,why do you sing,what do you sing?
do these songs inspire other whales as human songs inspire us?she mused.

she looked at the vast ocean spread in front of her. she knew she wanted to be an oceanographer and would be specialising in the same for her Masters.there was something about the vastness of the ocean,which soothed her.she smiled as thought,that the trait seemed to run in the family genetically. her father was an exobiologist,the vast expanses of the universe gave him a high. her brother was a geologist,and specialised in desert terrain.again the vastness and mystery of sandy plains attracted him. her mother was a mathematician,and what was more infinite than numbers.

she looked at the stars,now completely visible as night had fallen.
she wondered if there was life somewhere in the unreachable expanses of the universe.
her father had told her once,that up there,when you look at the earth from outer space,when you see your blue globe hanging in the black backdrop,in the utter silence up there,you can discern the low vibrations,a low tune,to which the universe in attuned.
the tune of life,of the cosmos.
she wondered if the vibrations of the universe reached other ears and souls too.she wondered whether if she connected and send across a message in the same vibration,would anyone out there pick up her message or understand it.
sometimes,when she looked at the microorganisms from under the microscope she wondered if those tiny,invisible beings communicated with each other.
the same way she felt when she looked at the stars through her father's telescope,she wondered if someone was observing her back.

she looked back at the ocean,
what were you singing to each other,she wondered again.
will we ever learn to communicate to other species?
picking up her thermos,she made her way back home,and the stars winked and twinkled above her.

light years away,in another galaxy,in a tiny planet made from volcanic rocks and gases two beings worked away in what was very much like a laboratory.


90() ()() ^(((( ()()()() \)( )\\\\
()() ^(((( ()()()() )( )\\\\
)( )\\\\90() 90() 90() 90() 90() 90()

roughly translated into English:

"what do you feel about them?" asked one being to another.

"i dont know,we have been observing them for so long now,i sometimes wonder what they say to each other...whether we will ever learn to communicate with them."said another as it continued observing a blue sphere,called "Earth".

(reference: for whalesongs and humpbacks,the reference used is wikipedia)

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

this is what real rambling blog deserves it's name.

she paced about restlessly in her room.the room was utilitarian. white tiled and bare gave her a feeling of being trapped in some obscure moment in time which had no emotions or shades to was not dark and foreboding nor was it happy and light.
yes,a time bubble trapped in definite co ordinates of a Cartesian quadrant system,she thought.
damn it,even her thoughts were nowadays in terminology which she was trying to run away from.

she had come running away from the fast pace of her city life,to get some peace of mind,here,in the countryside.but,it seemed,even that was not working.
sighing,she lay down on the single bed looking at the whitewashed ceiling.

what else was expected of her,she did not know,at 23,she did not know why it was so hard to decide something like what she wanted to pursue in her life.she had come through the usual doldrums of academics,excelled in them.but now she knew that she had done them because she was one of those so called lucky ones born with that trait.the trait which made studies easy to come by.but she knew,people never believed her.they thought she was just being modest.but she knew better.she knew that somewhere in her basic character,when the bricks of her character had been laid,its foundation had been made of the cement of responsibility. she took whatever was thrown her way in life as her responsibility.whether she enjoyed the work or not was never a priority to her.if the work appealed,it was an added bonus.
if a job was given,and if she accepted it ,she would see it through to the end.
she believed that,this was how it should be,just and fair.
so,she always made her decisions in life,thinking them through.if she couldn't do a thing wholeheartedly,she never took it.

a humming of a bird got her attention.she looked at the window.she could not recognise the bird.
it flew away into the bright skies.
looking out at the beautiful countryside outside her window,she felt that she was a fool to sit couped in her room,chewing over a problem when the world of birds and trees beckoned her to join them

she pulled on a coat and ran outside.

this was her grandfather's ancestral home.geographically this small hamlet was placed in the centre of a ring made by mighty mountains.this mountainous terrain was covered by tropical rain forest.human civilization was a rarity here.this village of 50 odd people had a rough,stony country road which after a few miles joined the nearest big city.the country road was the centre of human activity.

the sighting of an odd woodcutter or a cowherd taking their daily routes to the mountaintops was the definition of human activity.the remaining populace's livelihood was farming which was carried out in the fields behind their homes.

she made her way through small pathways cutting across green fields,a small stream and reached the Temple pond.this Temple of Lord Krishna was one of her favourite spots.she had to walk across a tricky hedge circling the perimeter of the green pond to reach the Temple.

she did not consider herself overly religious but she was spiritual.and the Temple's Deity was the incarnation of her favourite God.

after praying,she made her way to the spreading Peepal tree(Ficus religiosa) on one side of the Temple.and sat on the ledge underneath it.

all around her,she saw nature in its full glory,the sweeping fields,sparkling like deep emeralds swayed with the gentle breeze on one side,the green pond below,the mountains,the coconut trees,the country road winding away to unknown distances.

the leaves of the Peepal were dancing and singing with the gentle breeze.she could here a cow mooing from some distance.

this was her favourite place in the whole wide world,she decided.her Grand Da's place had always been one of her most loved places,her memories of this place always induced her with peace.especially,this place under the tree.

she was born with a ceaseless mind,a mind which never stopped thinking.she never had a problem with it until when she was completely exhausted and wanted her mind to stop.but she had no control over it.

this was one of those very few places in her world,where she did not have to try to bring her mind to equilibrium.the surroundings induced it for her.

she looked at the sky,through the leaves of the tree and sighed contently.a path from behind the Temple lead to the initial slopes of the mountain.the path was through the darker green of foliage of creepers and huge trees.she thought of the countless number of times she had conquered the mountain tops through those paths in her childhood.her overactive imagination always felt that the jungle was enchanted and wood spirits and elves lived in its dense greenery. a magic world operating away from this human world.

she let her mind wander to memories of drinking coconut water on the high rock on the mountaintop,looking at the world far below.looking at it from so far above always made her feel,that after all what are we in the whole wide universe?just a piece which fitted somewhere in some invisible cosmic cycle.

she smiled as she recalled that during the night,lullabies around here were sung by wolves howling away in the mountaintops.she had slept to so many of such lullabies.under the night sky,with the moonlight and the moonpeople songs-the wolfsong.

her musings were halted as she spied a pigeon trying to push her babies out of the nest to teach them to fly.the babies were trying their best to resist their lessons.but eventually the mother won and the babies first flopped down a few branches,but eventually let the course of nature take its route.they flew a small distance and came back home.

she sat up as a thought struck her.she felt like the pigeon babies herself,scared to take the first step because she was scared to fall flat on her face.but like them,if she never took the first step how was she ever going to learn,ever going to know or ever going to grow.

in the hustle and bustle of achieving whatever she wanted out of her life,she realised it was stupid to be scared to tread unknown grounds.until she did that she would never know what lay ahead.doing her work wholeheartedly was her karma,the outcome should not bother her much. nature would take its course.

she looked towards the Temple entrance.she smiled as she thought,wasn't that what her favourite Lord preached in the Bhagwad Geetha.

thank you,she whispered into the skies and the breeze.

(author's note: this was real rambling,i agree.but i just had to get something out of my system.

as for not exactly mentioning the problem,i wanted it to be a neutral article so that people who read it can relate to sure we are faced with so many problems in the course of leading our lives,small and big,that at times we just want to hide our faces and wish the problem away.

in the rat race of achieving some so called definition of "perfect life" we are all so scared to take chances,lest we fall and make a fool of ourselves.but,taking chances,doing our best and then letting nature take its course,is the way things work,knowingly or unknowingly.

for me nature plays the dual roles of being an antidote to a fast paced life and a teacher if i look at things sure everyone has their own way to relax and contemplate.

hope you had the patience to reach here.



Sunday, April 12, 2009

take away my pain.

(no..this has no relation whatsoever to the song with the same title by "Dream Theater"
though it is an absolutely wonderful song..recommended to progressive metal fans)

Dear son,
I feel I should have written this letter earlier,or at least tried to contact you.but you know as we,older generation are from a different school of thoughts,a generation which finds talking about world affairs and the weather easier than expressing matters of the heart,I finally decided writing about matters of the heart is easier than standing in front of you and expressing.
I know,you have still not forgiven me,for giving up on her,but know that it was hard on me too.after all I have spent my entire life,almost 40 years with her,she is the witness and owner of a legacy called my life,a legacy of memories,moments of happiness and sadness,of two beautiful children we are proud of,and just the plain acceptance of each other.
Her legacy is safe with me,I will always carry it around in my heart and cherish it.

Know that it was difficult for me to give the doctors permission required to stop the ventilator which kept your mother alive.
But I had a decision to make,a decision which was pending for the past 2 years she was asleep,in her coma.i have spent enough time blaming the disease which took away her life slowly and eventually put her to sleep.but I know her enough to know that she would have wanted us to move on,live the life that she considered a gift from Almighty.
I made the decision for you and your sister,because I know you will not have been able to make it,because I know I have to live for you,my children.

because our lives had come to standstill.

I remember her,with the sun reflecting off her radiant face,the breeze lifting her hair all around her face,the shimmering sea in the afternoon heat and the hum of afternoon namaaz from the mosque standing in the still waters.
She was smiling,a peaceful smile,never has she looked more beautiful to me than at that moment,I have always been aware that she was beautiful,but that day I had a renewed awareness that her beauty was not just skin deep,what gave additional luster and spark to her physical perfection was the glow from within,the inner source of peace,which made her soul beautiful,which in turn overflowed into her physical existence.
In the sweltering humid heat of Bombay’s summer,an angel touched my life and showed me life’s perfection and beauty.

I will always remember her like that,son,
and I want you to remember her like that,as the woman,who loved her life too much to just wait around.
I know what picture of your mother I will be carrying with me,until the moment I close my eyes for the final time and beyond that.
The question is which one do you want to carry?
The mother who loved you unconditionally and imbibed in you her zeal for life or the frail woman fighting to stay awake knowing that she may never wake from the sleep which finally overcame her,a sleep which was not final in the way,it should have been.

The realization that you find it hard to forgive me hurts me,but I can understand.
I will however ask you to come meet me sometime even if you cannot forgive me. A few words,even if it is hurting would bring peace to a father’s heart than silence,my son.
Know that I love her with all my heart,that for me she lives on through you and your sister.

I see her in you and your determination for achieving what you want in life .
I see her in your sister’s eyes and her kindness to people.
Please come home.
as I said before I may find it hard to express my feelings in words,but these arms ache and long to hold you.
I have lost a major part of my heart and soul,please don’t take away the remaining parts.
Forgive me.

i love you.
Always with you in thoughts and prayers,
Your father.

Friday, April 10, 2009

stuck between inspiration and frustration.

i am at that phase in life where i seem to be facing the same question on every other corner,
"what do you want to do ?"

well,as in,what are my ambitions,my job preferences and the ultimate is the fact they want to know why i want to do it.

this question generally flashes a lot of moments of my life in front of when you are dying and your whole life flashes in front of you.i don't know about death,but generally nostalgia and anything life changing cause these flashes to happen to me.

there are so many many things i wanted or still want to background files will give you answers like,
"what do you want to do?"

"me?,i want to slay dragons."(that is warrior woman me)

"i want to write love stories that make people smile every night before they go to sleep."(the ever so romantic fool that i am)

"i want to run a horse ranch"(the cowboy rode west)

"i want to be an oceanographer.and spend the rest of my life watching the vast oceans."(the aqua fan in me.)

somehow,i either wanted to save the world or dabble in something which kept me close to nature.grand ideas,they sure are!
that brings me to the answer that persisted half my life and faded away sometime back,but still inspires me from time to time.

"i want to be an astronaut.i want to watch this beautiful planet from up it as it steals my breathe away,watch it as it inspires me to do something bigger than me."

i haven't travelled claim to fame where places are concerned is limited to the western coast of our country.but,i love reading and reconstructing places with someone else's words.
as i have mentioned in a previous article,thus,i have travelled the world and beyond.

i just have to close my eyes to feel the warm waters of the sea crashing against the rocks,to see the myriad colours of sunset and sunrise,the sparkle and fast pace of the city life and the relaxed,peaceful hum of the countryside.the beauty of the earth in its snow clad mountains or the sunny desert dunes,the grand canyons or the tumbling waterfalls,the emerald green amazonian forests or the frozen tundras.

the carefree penguins jumping of the glaciers in the Antarctic or the slithering anacondas having an afternoon nap in the drowsy rain forests,the stealth of a tiger in the Sunderbans or the humpbacks singing their songs in the mysterious depths of the oceans,the eagles roaming the free skies,all of these and many more,i could just go on and on.

i sometimes dont see why we have so many religions,the earth is a faith inspiring religion and miracle in itself.

all these wonders,natural-terrestrial,geographical,aquatic,aerial combined with what our species-homo sapiens-have created inspire awe.
yes,even we have contributed to the beauty of our planet,in the form of architecture,paintings,sculptures,poems,legends,science and technology.

then how can we stand back and watch something so beautiful and something which is very much ours be destroyed!
as a friend of mine wrote earlier about how we humans wake up only at the brink of disaster,i confess,even i am like it the exams where you will find me working like there is no tomorrow just a day before the paper.

i am like everyone else,i am busy leading my life,studying,meeting deadlines,writing exams,hanging out with friends,performing my duties and responsibilities.somewhere in between all these,i forget about my planet.because i am busy and because it isn't urgent matter.

the earth has survived before me,it will survive without me or my help too.that is my attitude.
and the irony is,as students of science we study the consequences of abusing our planet.
then why aren't we doing something about the global issues that threaten our planet-be it global warming,pollution,heatwaves,ozone depletion,etc.

to be honest i don't know what to do,whether what i do will be sufficient to save my earth. whether i have time after leading this rat race of a life for some earth saving business,but i do want to try.i do want to save my home,my beautiful planet,the inspiration of my childhood and a legacy to our future generation.

yes,i am on new territory,but i will try to do my part,learn how to stop destroying our inheritance more than it has been.

today when someone asks me what i want to do,i say,
"i want to teach.teach so that students realise the beauty of what they are learning,beauty of the miracle which creates us,and beauty of the miracle which sustains us-our planet."

i am not a rocket scientist,i am not a politician on an agenda,i am just a global citizen making a plea to my fellow citizens to take some time to think on where we are heading.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

those perfect moments....

"abbe,what the hell,i can bet two ounces of my flesh that she will be late today also." Gayathri whined,looking at her watch.

"well,you better increase your stakes,make it 5 kgs of your flesh.Siddhi is going to be mein weight kam hojayega."Neil taunted her goodnaturedly.

both of them were waiting outside their normal,meet up joint,waiting for Siddhi and Sanjay.

"saale,taunt mat the way Sanju kihdar hain?"Gayathri asked.

"taunt?!! aur mein?Gayu..Siddhi is always late.schooltime se. remember waiting for her at the busstop.damn,we used to come on time,but still used to end up running down the roads just to reach school before the gates were closed, thanks to dear Siddhi."

"don't act innocent,you know that is not what i was talking about....."

as they both continued bickering,Sanjay arrived on his bike.he hugged Gayathri and shook hands with Neil.

"well,as we wait for our late kate,why dont we as well get something to eat?"asked Sanju.

"yup,i agree,for all you know,she will not reach till dinner.sheesh..." Neil quipped.

as the guys ordered their drinks,Gayathri pondered over what to have.

"i cant make up my mind.eeehh,what do i have?"she asked.

"dont have anything.imagine the calories!!!" Neil made faces.

"well,what do you feel like having?"asked Sanju patiently.

"lotsa gooey chocolate"Gayathri crooned.

"lets see which goo monster has choco here."said Sanjay poring over the menu.

as the three of them try to find their chocolate monster,Siddhi enters the hotel and walks over to them ,a litany of apologies and excuses.
"arre,sorry re,last minute kaam tha.i dont know why my parents remember my chores only when am ready to leave .sorry guys."Siddhi murmured.

"say something new.itne saal beeth chuke.kuch tho naya bol." Neil poked her mercilessly.

"oye,shut up,you people.lets forget all that.i so wanna hear all your news."Gayathri shouted.

"hmm..before anyone gets a chance,i am gonna make use of going to US in a few office is sending me over for a year."Neil said.

"haan kya?US tere office ka Kaalapani hain kya?they send criminals and maybe in your case the retards over there?"Gayathri asked,batting her eyelashes innocently.

Neil reached over and pulled her hair.

"arre,you retards,act like the 23 year olds you are.and Neil,that is her hair,not a pigtail may just get your hand stuck in the way,congratulations Neil.that is great news."Siddhi said.

"yea,but be back in a year man,koi firang ko pakadkar NRI mat ban jana "Sanju added.

"yea man,we will miss you."Gayathri conceded.

"my news is that,ki i told my family about Ranjini.after the initial ruckus,they have accepted our relationship."Sanju grinned.

"thank god for that!!!"Gayathri said.

"am glad for you."Siddhi added.

"well,maybe in a few months we may get engaged.let us see.small steps at a time."Sanju said.

"yeah, the way,i may just take up that post as the Assistant Professor at the National Institute of assigned to the project on plate tectonics.well,i find it favourable.and the best thing is i am the incharge for physical training-swimming and scuba diving.i mean,that clinches it for me.and the fact that later i may get to pursue a doctorate at the Hawaain institute of oceanography.that is if my grades are good."Gayathri said excitedly.

after the initial "aaaw" and "oohs" Neil quipped,"see may just end up in the US.welcome to the retarded club."

"and yea,go dance with handsome hawaain hunks on the beaches on full moon nights."Siddhi added.

"yea,but the beaches of Goa call me first."Gayathri said.

"well,i sometimes wonder if the lunar phases which affect your oceans affect your mental balance too,Gayu.congratulation on landing a dream job. call of the wild," Sanju grinned.

"thank you ,guys."Gayathri smiled.

"Well,Siddhi,your turn.last here too,seems to run in your blood,"Neil said.

"hmm..nothing much,except that i got my heart broken and crushed."Siddhi said.

after a moment's silence.

"that b@##$#%#, i knew it."Gayathri muttered angrily.

"well,it is ok,actually. i mean,it wouldnot have worked out,seems i just need to let go and grow up."Siddhi said in a matured manner.

the remaining three looked at her,their childhhod friend,as she hid her confused heartbreak behind a brave facade.they decided to let her pretend as she wasnt ready to say or hear more.

"hmm.seems like a lifetime doesnt it.all of us together since childhood,schooltimes,heartbreaks,teenage,fights,first jobs,love,engagements." Gayathri sighed.

"well,,though i have a job i hate ,no love and maybe will have to leave my country,i still love my life because you guys are in guys are the best thing about my life."Neil said.

"aaawww Neil,for once i love what you just said and agree with you man."Gayathri said.

"yea,i mean,as Gayu said,we go a long way,dont we?way too long for pretences.that is the best thing with us,we are just 4 normal people loving each other for what we are without judgements."Sanju added.

"yea,you guys are the witnesses to my true life,to what i actually am.i think i dont mind going through whatever garbage life holds out for me if i can come back to you guys."Gayathri said,softly.

"yea,even if you guys kick my butt for whatever mistakes i do in my life.i will gladly come for the kicks."Neil said.

"yup,i dont mind breaking my heart a 1000 times if you guys will hold me out through it."Siddhi added.

"yea,somehow,scary as it sounds i echo that sentiment."Sanju said.

and their banter continued.

life is perfect with its imperfections.but once in a while,there are certain moments which reveal life's perfection.and this is how a few of those moments look.