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Tuesday, June 30, 2009

music recommendation.

this post is a music recommendation.i havenot written anything original except the fact that i like this song...
..i am a Dylan fan.
almost all his songs pull at my heartstrings..making me wonder if i wanna weep or smile wistfully.....looking far into the horizon.
and this is one of my favourite songs.
the lyrics are wistful and his voice hauntingly brooding.....true blue....
the second last stanza is my favourite.....
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.
Though I know that evenin's empire has returned into sand,
Vanished from my hand,Left me blindly here to stand but still not sleeping.
My weariness amazes me, I'm branded on my feet,I have no one to meet
And the ancient empty street's too dead for dreaming.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.
Take me on a trip upon your magic swirlin' ship,
My senses have been stripped, my hands can't feel to grip,
My toes too numb to step, wait only for my boot heels
To be wanderin'.
I'm ready to go anywhere, I'm ready for to fade
Into my own parade, cast your dancing spell my way,I promise to go under it.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.
Though you might hear laughin', spinnin', swingin' madly across the sun,
It's not aimed at anyone, it's just escapin' on the run
And but for the sky there are no fences facin'.
And if you hear vague traces of skippin' reels of rhyme
To your tambourine in time, it's just a ragged clown behind
,I wouldn't pay it any mind, it's just a shadow you'reSeein' that he's chasing.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.
Then take me disappearin' through the smoke rings of my mind,
Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves,The haunted, frightened trees,
out to the windy beach,Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow.
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free,
Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands,
With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves,
Let me forget about today until tomorrow.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to.
Hey! Mr. Tambourine Man, play a song for me,
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

of rainy days and morning blues.....

well,this is again a cribbing kind of post..i guess,i should make this my speciality...:(
as described in my last sloth like existence has drowned to the depths of the oceans and am struck with a work pace which has screwed my system up..half of the time i am light headed and the other half i have hammering headaches waiting to enter my top it,my parents are out of town...i do not have my mom to crib my heart out i guess,right now blog is my makeshift momma...blogamma.....
it was one of those days..i was supposed to get up at 4 to study some stuff which were a blast from my past..and considering my rocking nightlife..i realised i haven't slept yet..when the clock struck 3.30 a.m. considering it an utter waste to sleep for half an hour..i started my day without a 3.30..finished my lessons...dressed up for college and left my place by 6.all through this..i was too lazy to prepare head started eyelids started drooping,i could not open my eyes fully nor could i turn my alertmeter was showing zero reading..going towards negative...walking through the roads i remember a voice in my head warning me of the high probability of falling into a ditch..and another voice pathetically thinking that it would be a relief to fall anyplace and not get up..but just go off to slumber land....i managed to board the train,took my class...somehow on that day..i had to teach a vague topic...and my students had too many 2 hr lecture tenure was extended..all through this ..some weak voice in my mind was begging for oblivion from daily life...finishing my day's quota of lectures,practicals and paper work...i made my way back home in the train..somehow this time..though drained totally of every possible strength..sleep was alluding me..i was in this miserable state of intense discomfort if experiencing an out of body feeling.
that is when ..a pair of huge,innocent and sparkling eyes found me to be its source of curiosity..
i looked back at them....a tiny fist wavered in front of my blurry vision...somehow i felt someone reach out to me...i took the baby's hand...and offered him my finger..he firmly clamped it in his tiny fist..i felt sleep overcome me..i fell asleep....the next thing i remember is..waking with a start as the train entered my station and seeing the baby sleeping on his mom's shoulder with my finger still clamped in his fist.i gently entangled my hand..and pressed a kiss on my little saviour's forehead and got down from the train.

i love the rains..i have walked many walks with my friends as it pours cats and dogs..and enjoy the amalgamation of city sights sprinkled with natural beauty due to the rains....small waterfalls,puddles,the extra green sheen to trees,the super clean look to the highways...
i enjoy them all..
but as i told you,i have become one disgruntled little girl nowadays....
today as i was working out in the gym....i could not enjoy my muscles were sore..i could not summon my reserve of workout left me feeling low..which never has happened before...and as i made way out of my gym..the heavens opened..and as per Murphy's i was without rain gear...
sweating and wet..i just got so utterly drenched...and to top it..some vehicle decided to gift my track pants a painting made from puddle water..brown and looks like modern art on my tracks....
cursing every second person.thing,abstract i could think of..i made my way back home...
the rainy world around me..through the spirals of my curls and spectacles is a weird sight....
as i was waiting to cross the road..i saw a female driving her scooter. she was also all wet like me....
our eyes met...and in a split second she smiled...a smile which is given between people stuck in the same situation,utterly frustrated but who also cannot help but laugh at the comic splash to the whole affair....
i smiled back...and i saw some dark monsters shifting and flying out from my ears and mouth...the monsters of pettiness and cribbing...
i crossed the road,felt happy,made my way back home..started my computer..and here i am.....
i like Paulo Coelho..and somehow do certainly believe, in signs...signs..given by nature or God..or any form of Energy you believe in...signs..which help us out in life..even if we feel utterly alone and desolate.....

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

ramblings of an ex-sloth.

aaawwww zzzzz beep beep censored
i know,i know..good girls supposedly do not swear....especially ones like me who are parading around performing a charade of being a teacher....what did i hear..who the hell told you you are good..
uumm uhh...i conveniently turn deaf to that statement...
moving on...that is my state of mind right now....people,do you know...i realised something...during the past few days that i have been teaching....i have realised that....studying for your exams..for yourself is far more easier....because when we study..for the sole sake of marks...sometimes we have the choice of leaving stuff that go bouncer..or if you have the capacity of rote heart it and puke it out onto the answer sheets....
but as a teacher,you do not have that have to be so clear about everything cause you have a massive responsibility..a responsibility which has its basis on the trust and expectation of your students from you.....
sheesh..i feel old...i was a student myself a month i am a professor to students 2 to 3 years younger to me....
i also feel that somehow someone dished out a foul deal to ask me why?
well..when i was a student i used to study a few hours before exams...
now as a teacher i study everyday!!!!
i get up at 4 daily to revise....and i come home, hit the bunk,work out,and study again.......
i so have wanted to blog about so many stuff....but i have no energy and no time.....
i so crave my lazy,sloth like existence where i do not have to worry about whether the kids will take a jeans clad lady(who feels like a college kid herself) seriously....if they have a stereotype for a teacher and i do not fit in...

well,enough of cribbing i guess,so..i will let you know the best thing about my is that spark,that dawn of realisation that you see in your student's eye when he/she just realised or understood what you explained,when a phenomenon which did not make sense to you just made sense.....
and trust dope or booze could give you as high a high as the fact that you could actually have moments of extreme satisfaction in your job...

well...i guess,i will stop now..i need to go study some stuff...prokaryotic and eukaryotic genome structure...(looks around,scratches head)
why don't i remember something like that...uhh ohhh..wasnt that something i left as choice..during my final year in degree?

damn..i have to study it now!!!after all these years?!!!? sure has a way of getting back to you...see what i mean.....

well, had asked me about my first day of teaching...well,to you and all our friends....
there are moments when i teach,when i look at the students...when their faces blur and they fade away...what i see is that their faces are replaced by familiar faces...faces of people who used to sit on those same benches with me..and shared some of the best times of my this job....i face my past everday.....and it is bittersweet,i miss you guys.....

additional note which has no relevance to this topic:
i just found out Arshat is going for his MBA in 4 days..out of Mumbai..,well i knew he would be going..but so soon?..naaa..i wasnt expecting that...
i use this chance to wish him luck in his well as in his life.....
well,it was his idea that i start writing..and here i am...
thank you,mate..and keep in actually rock!!!!
here is to a great life ahead...

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

random thoughts.

i was sitting with a group of close cronies of mine...and talking a whole lot of nonsense,some sense,a bit of gossip and generally enjoying the feel of being comfortable in my own skin.
sitting there i came up with a lot of topics to blog about,be it something we spoke or just random things going on in my head as people around me spoke,ate and lazed about.(no,i was sitting ramrod straight on a comfortable chair)

random topic number 1.:
how i broke my spectacles:
i look like your definition of a mad scientist.i have hair like one and am bespectacled.
now,if i decide to subject myself to an electric shock,my hairdo will look a lot like Einstein's.
mine could be the next photo you hang in your laboratories and pray to, for inspiration.
coming up to the breaking of my essential commodity-my glasses.
these ill-fated glasses were rimless ones,and on a marble floor you just cannot see them.
here i was oiling my "oh so adorably crazy " hair,when a phone call summoned me.tottering without my specs,i attended it and came back to original position,only stamping on my rimless glasses on the way.
SMASH! lay my specs......
GLARE!i got from my mom.....
SNIFF! i was heartbroken, ironic isn't it,how we manage to trample upon some of the most essential things in our lives by taking them for granted.yea..sorry, breaking my eye wear does that to me.......

random thought number 2:
what is it with chocolate?the moment it hits my taste buds,it assaults my senses and takes me over to a happy place where all i want to do is hum a tune of reckless ecstasy.
i am so totally enslaved to this bitter chemical......
sigh!.....if ever there were sins made to indulge,chocolate tops the list.

it takes me back to memories of train travel,with Sam,where our afternoon fiestas were chocolates.chocolate is the only thing that can make hyper talkative ladies like us converse in"ummmm aaahhh ooooh" .imagine this sound effect accompanied by stupid,silly smiles at each other...
i take this opportunity to thank Sam!!!if i sit and thank you for all that i want to thank you for i would be forever blogging....
but this one is for tactfully rescuing me from walking talking marriage bureaus...:P
random thought number 3:
this includes a scene in which Parkar.Jayu and Anje(that's me) walk down this tree lined street outside our was like walking down memory lane.
back to degree years,with those same people with whom you grew up. it was a nice feel.

back to present with one flying to the States,one back to college as professor and another entering the corporate arena,it is nice to feel like kids walking down those same lanes,having those happy memories lap against you like a cool breeze.
"those were the best days of my life"(guitar strumming.......)

random though number 4:
"Lights go down it’s dark
The jungle is your head - can’t rule your heart
A feeling is so much stronger than a thought
Your eyes are wide
And though your soul it can’t be bought
Your mind can wonder"
(lyrics -"vertigo"-U2)

yes,my mind can wonder as well as wander...
when i talk on my cellphone,standing next to a mind wonders how it would be if i just let my phone drop..and see it slowly fall and hit the cement pavement,have its brains blown out SMACK!
then i also wonder if i run towards a window and jerk my head,will my spectacles fly off my ears and fall off into eternity?
what?what did you say? yea..i broke one need for more antics...
these happen to me when i stand near a window..a new,mutant form of vertigo or disorientation.

random thought number 5:
there sure is something cool about the rain on a highway.
especially when you are in a car with the driver driving at full speed,and you roll down the window and look towards the heavens and catch those droplets on your tongue.
my dad feels that i look like a rabid puppy when i do that.

i stop the random flow here....
signing out as the